It Starts with a Conversation


Lets Talk About… Self Control

Self Control

First, Seek Him...

These days, self-control seems to be in short supply. People say and do whatever they want without any self restraint. What about you? What kind of words come from your mouth? What kind of things do you do? Seek the Lord about self-control in your life.

...Then Speak Him

We want to teach the next generation to be self-controlled, able to rule their own emotions, words and behavior. This is a life-long lesson, but it can start with a deliberate conversation today. Use this discussion guide to help you teach your kids what the Bible says about self-control.

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Proverbs 25:28
“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.”


God, what are you saying to me?

God’s Word teaches us to have self-control, which means we rule our emotions, feelings and actions instead of letting these rule us. Self-control means we don’t use the phrase “I didn’t mean to” as an excuse for bad behavior or choices. Self-control means we take responsibility for our lives and deliberately choose our words, actions and direction. Do you use “I didn’t mean to” as an excuse? Is there an area you feel out of control? Do you know what it means to be intentional?


God, why does this matter?

A person without self-control is as vulnerable to destruction as an ancient city with broken fortress walls. Such cities were easy prey to predators and invaders, doomed to destruction. Interestingly, the Hebrew word for “city” in our verse also means “excitement, anguish, terror.” So, you could say the ups and downs, highs and lows of your life are like your own personal city. You can protect and defend your “city” with self-control, or you can allow broken walls which leave you vulnerable to destruction. Would you rather safeguard and defend your life or leave it unguarded? Let’s talk about this.


God, What Else Does Your Word Say About This?

To build the walls of self-control, let’s start with the fruit of the Spirit, which are “…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and – – – what else??? – – – self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23a CSB). Think through this list. Are you loving? (How?) Are you joyful? (How?) Do you have peace in your life (or are you chaotic)? Are you patient (or do you explode)? Are you kind to others? (How?) Are you seeking what’s good (or sneaking with what’s bad)? Are you faithful to your promises? Are you gentle (even with those who are out of control)? Your answers to these questions will tell you if your self-control walls are strong and established or need some fixing right now.


God, How do you want me to respond to this truth?


God wouldn’t tell us to have self-control if it were impossible! He gives us His help and strength to worship Him this way. We will all fail in self-control from time to time, but that’s when we need to get out the mortar of His Word, restack the bricks of the fruits of His Spirit, and rebuild the walls that protect us. Let’s pray and ask God to help us be the people He’s created us to be.

Proverbs 25:28
“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.”

A Family Blessing

A Blessing from this Lesson to Speak over Those God has Entrusted to You!

Lord God, help us to live self-controlled lives that honor You, for Your glory and our good. Amen!

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© 2020 Tosha Williams, Family Disciple Me

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